In any workplace, it’s important to feel comfortable raising concerns with someone more senior. In the equestrian world, this becomes even more essential. We work in fast-paced, high-pressure environments where the stakes are high not only for us, but for the horses in our care. Clear communication protects both welfare and wellbeing.
Still, many grooms find it hard to approach their boss with an issue, whether it’s a work concern or something as simple as asking for time off. There are lots of reasons this happens; top-down hierarchies, military-style legacies, or close-knit teams where even minor tensions are felt deeply.
In many yards, there’s no formal training for those stepping into management roles. So, when someone becomes responsible for leading a team, they often fall back on what they’ve seen or experienced before, which may not always be the best example.
In an ideal world, every leader in the equestrian industry would be approachable, calm, and skilled at communication. But whilst there are good bosses out there, that’s not the current reality for everyone. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up. In fact, doing so (with care and respect) can make a real difference to your work, your team, and the horses in your care.
This article offers practical advice to help you navigate those tough conversations with confidence.
1. Pick the Right Time and Place
Give your boss the space to actually hear you. That means avoiding the middle of a vet visit or while clients are watching a horse being ridden. If it’s important, it deserves attention.
Tip:
Ask for a quiet moment or suggest a time: “Could we chat later when things are calmer?”
2. Be Clear and Specific
It’s okay to say you’re tired or overwhelmed, but explaining why is what helps others understand. Focus on one issue at a time. Use specific examples that show what’s happening and how it’s affecting you.
Try saying: “I’ve noticed that…” or “I’m finding it tricky when…”
3. Use Calm, Professional Language
Emotions are valid, but separating facts from feelings helps the conversation stay focused.
- What actually happened?
- When and how?
- What was the result?
- How did it affect you?
Avoid gossip or blame, as it distracts from the real issue and makes it harder for someone to respond constructively.
Try using “I” statements: “I found it difficult when…” instead of “You always…”
4. Offer a Suggestion or Solution
You don’t have to have the perfect answer, but showing you’ve thought about it helps.
Try saying:
“Would it be possible to…”
“Could we try…”
“One idea I had was…”
5. Practice if You’re Nervous
If this is new or you’ve had a bad experience before, it’s normal to feel anxious. Rehearsing with a friend or writing it out can help. Think through what you’d say, and what questions they might ask.
It’s perfectly okay to bring notes or pause mid-chat to gather your thoughts.
6. Know Your Rights But Stay Constructive
If you’re raising something serious (like a safety issue or unfair treatment), know that you’re right to speak up. You’re not alone. There are organisations like Grooms Minds/IGA Minds that can support you.
However, even then, keep your tone respectful. You’re not looking for confrontation, you’re asking for things to get better.
7. Follow Up if Needed
If nothing changes or you’re waiting on action, gently follow up.
Try saying: “Thanks for the chat on Monday—has there been any update on…?”
Final Thoughts
Good bosses want to know how things are going. And bringing something up shows you care about your work, the team, and the horses.
Leaving things unsaid rarely helps. Think of it like clipping a nervous horse; if you never help them work through it, how will they ever learn to feel safe?
Having tough conversations is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier the more you do it. The first one might be the hardest, but every step forward helps you build the confidence and clarity to speak up again.
Note from the HorseGrooms Team
This conversation is part of a bigger picture. Following Susanna Ole’s recent global study of over 1,300 grooms, and our in-depth webinar with her, one truth stands out: the equestrian industry can’t thrive unless its people, including grooms, are supported.
In our recent article for employers, we offer practical ways barn owners, riders, and trainers can help create healthier, more sustainable workplaces. Because when grooms feel heard and respected, horses benefit, and so does the entire team. We encourage you to read it and maybe even find a way to show it to your boss.
We also recommend reading the following articles related to this topic:
Lizzie Herron is a leadership consultant with over a decade of experience supporting people at every level of leadership. She specialises in helping equestrian business owners, managers, and organisations build strong teams where horses and humans thrive.
After a successful corporate career in leadership development delivering high-impact strategies across the UK and Europe, Lizzie combined her professional expertise with her lifelong love of horses to found The Equestrian Leadership Consultancy. Her work helps equestrian leaders apply practical, proven leadership skills in a way that fits the unique culture of the industry.
She is passionate about the ripple effect that comes from unlocking potential in people, and believes deeply in the power of the equestrian industry to drive meaningful change; not only through our relationships with horses, but through how we connect with and support one another.
Based in Derbyshire (GB) with her husband, cat, and herd of Exmoor ponies, Lizzie coaches and consults throughout the UK.
